Elizabeth "Betty" Jane Gates, 87, passed away peacefully on January 25, 2025, at home in Portland, Maine.

Betty was born on October 9, 1937, in Sherman, Texas to Julia Thompson and Henry Huffaker Gates with additional loving care from her grandparents Henderson and Ethel Gates and extended family.

At every age, Betty loved to read, write, learn, ask questions, be in the outdoors, and explore.  As a girl, she learned to swim in the Guadalupe River with water moccasin snakes, and she loved to climb in Texas Hill Country.  She wrote a play in early elementary school performed by her class and skipped the 6th grade.  She treasured her friendships at Tivy High School in Kerrville where she was known for her warmth and brightness.  She graduated in 1955 as editor in chief of the Tivy High School newspaper.  Betty was crowned Rodeo Queen in Kerrville, and she rode a galloping horse, smiling and waving her cowgirl hat.

Betty graduated from University of North Texas in 1959 with a bachelor's degree in education and was president of her sorority Zeta Tau Alpha.  Drawn to fast-paced learning environments, Betty ran the sales associate training program at the flagship Neiman Marcus, Dallas and supported senior leadership at Texas Instruments, Baylor College of Medicine, and at KHOU-TV Houston.  Life-changing work came as special assistant to art patron and philanthropist Dominique de Menil at University of St. Thomas in Houston.  Betty found profound mentorship and friendship with Mrs. de Menil who asked Betty to come back years later and be on the team that would help her open The Menil Collection, Houston's contemporary art museum and home of the Rothko Chapel.

In 1960, Betty married Richard Cardner.  They lived briefly in Brooklyn and Manhattan where Betty was overjoyed to give birth to her son Kevin before returning all together to Texas.  Betty and Dick remained friends after divorcing, and in 1969, Betty married Jay Elston and became a proud stepmom to James and Jeff.  The boys were teenagers when, in 1978 and 1979, Betty and Jay were happily surprised in their 40's with daughters Vanessa and Amanda.  Betty loved being a mom and considered it one of her greatest joys.

Betty proudly attended the 1977 National Women's Conference in Houston and participated in the powerful call of the feminist movement.  She spoke before Houston City Council and made a speech arguing against a proposal to drill for oil in Houston's Memorial Park, a proposal which never moved forward.

In October 1987, following an amicable divorce, Betty moved with her two girls to Yarmouth, Maine to start a new chapter at age 50 after getting to spend time on Cushing's Island.  Betty went back to school at University of Southern Maine and excelled in the Honors Program while pursuing a second bachelor's degree in English.  Her scholarship was inspiring to her daughters who went on to graduate from Waynflete School, Smith College, and Barnard College with JYA at University of Oxford, realizing an educational dream of their mom's.  Betty visited Amanda at Oxford and spent time in London, a deeply meaningful journey.

Betty studied and practiced group dialogue facilitation and became impassioned about the work of Albert Einstein and David Bohm and the power of group intelligence and the unified field.  She shared ideas on quantum thinking and group dialogue in the co-founding of the Parent Forum in volunteer work at Waynflete School.

In her later years, Betty found strength in books (a life-long love), in writing her story, and in groups including Speaking Circles, her beloved writers' group, and as a board member and prayer chaplain at Unity of Greater Portland.

For her 80th birthday, Betty felt called to visit Mt. Katahdin where she walked trails with Kevin, Vanessa, and Amanda.  Her 80's were Betty's most mystical chapter and affirmed her deep love of Maine and interior spiritual life.

Betty had a beautiful speaking voice and singing voice.  When she developed a vocal condition in later years, she found many ways to communicate with love, humor, and clarity.

Betty's hospice journey at home was brightened with hours of classical music, flowers, and episodes of the tv show Good Witch about an especially kind woman who teaches others to trust their intuition and to spread goodness.

Betty's greatest gift was to help people feel deeply seen, heard, loved, and understood.

Betty passed away following extraordinary, full-time physical caregiving by her daughter Vanessa and by the team effort of Vanessa, Amanda, and Kevin.  The family is so grateful for the work of physical rehabilitation staff at Seaside during two stays and to the loving care of Northern Light Home Care & Hospice.

Betty is survived by brother Robert Gates, brother Dr. Stephen Gates, son Kevin Cardner, stepson James Elston (Karen), daughters Vanessa Gates-Elston and Amanda Gates-Elston (Marisa), and family.

Betty is predeceased by her parents Julia Thompson Stalder and Henry Huffaker Gates, her aunts Elizabeth "Bibby" Gates Clegg, Helen Thompson Buckner, Jimmie Huffaker, Lucile Harrison Ditto, her sister-in-law Terri Gates, her stepson Jeff Elston, and many other beloved family members including furry family.

A private family service will take place at Evergreen Cemetery with a celebration of life later in the summer.

Special thanks to Amanda's circle of songwriter friends, Vanessa's healer community, and old friends for burial contributions, care packages, phone calls, and flowers.

To honor Betty, be sure to get yourself some flowers or plant some, spend time in a bookstore or library, take time for writing and art and music, go for a walk, stay curious, share what's on your mind, and as you spend time with others, listen with your heart.